Don't give them any money, they'll just use it on drugs.



I went and had a talk with my bank the other day, because I needed money. As I sat there the very friendly advisor went through my assets:



Do you have a job?

yes

Do you own a car?

no

Do you own your apartment?

no

Are you a member of a union?

no

Are you a member of an unemployment benefits fund?

no

Are you married?

no

Do you have children?

no

Do you save money for your retirement?

no





The next question could have been: Do you exist?

no



I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad consumer...

(but I did get more money from the bank, and come December they'll get more of that nice fat interest they put on it - squandering makes the world go round!)